1. The Bariseur Alarm Clock
Getting up early in the morning to the annoying sound of an alarm clock can be a painful experience, but perhaps the smell of freshly brewed coffee might improve things a bit. That’s what the makers of The Bariseur alarm clock are counting on, anyway.
The Bariseur is an automatic coffee maker and tea brewer that also doubles as an alarm clock. Wake up to the sound of bubbling hot water and the smell of fresh coffee or loose leaf tea. Inventor Joshua Renouf says his ingenious creation “encourages a ritual in order to establish a routine before going to sleep, signaling to the body and mind that it is time to unwind and relax. The fresh coffee or tea is used as a natural aromatic relaxant throughout the night then stimulates the user in the morning once brewed.”
This alarm guarantees to turn any woman into a “morning person.” The Wake Up Vibe alarm clock was invented to help women kick off their day with an “oooh” rather than an “oh no!”
The clock looks like a curved iPod and is put in place at night. In the morning, it wakes the user up with an orgasm. Instead of an annoying noise, the sex toy buzzes away and has six different speeds to choose from.
The website boasts: “Wake Up Vibe will change your life. Start the day with good vibrations.” The toy comes in pink, purple and black, costs $99 on Amazon, and has mixed reviews online.
Everyone knows that time is money, and getting out the door a little late can cost you a fair chunk of change. But sometimes the urge to sleep in can outweigh the urge to make it to work on time. That’s when the Money Shredding Alarm Clock steps in. Like its name says, the alarm will shred your cash if you don’t get up on time, making it way too expensive to sleep. The snooze button might be tempting, but if you’ve got a stack of hundreds that are about to be destroyed, chances are you’ll get out of bed.
This concept alarm clock by designer Alice Wang is called the Tyrant. If you don’t arise after your first warning, the Tyrant strong-arms you into a waking state by stealing your cell phone and dialing someone on your contact list every three minutes till you wake up. Perhaps not entirely practical but it sure is hilarious!
How do you want to start the day? The best answer is “later.” But if you must wake, then there’s probably no better sound to stir you than that of a young child giggling. That’s why the design firm Ideo developed the Lolzzz clock—when it’s time to wake up, the clock physically rocks back and forth. The recorded laughter of Quinn, a 5-year old girl, plays. To make her laugh louder, tickle the clock’s “belly button.” (Or you can just have your real 5-year old laughing like it usually happens in my house 6 am.)
Lolzzz is one of three inventions in the MonYay! collection of time-management devices that will help you enjoy life on a fixed schedule.
The water powered alarm clock, which was created by Austrian designer Vera Wiedermann, uses a drip system to count down the time until the hammer is released and a loud chime sounds. The only way to get some more time in the sack is to fill it up with water all over again.
So, unless you figure out how to refill this sucker while sleepwalking, it should get you up and going better than anything with a snooze button. And it’s nice looking too—it’s made out of glass, copper and cord, so it won’t clash with your style or reset itself when the power goes out.
Honestly, this alarm would be way more useful if the dripping occurred on your face.
The Wake Up Work Out alarm clock sounds the get-in-shape alarm, which you can shut off only once you’ve done 30 bicep reps. Motion sensors inside can tell exactly how many reps you’ve done and if you do them right. No cheating!
The Pavlok alarm is a wearable that doesn’t just rely on noise to rouse you from your restful slumber—instead, it utilizes the vibration, buzzer, and a patent-pending electric zap. Good morning, indeed.
The alarm clock promises to train you to wake up. The wearable works simply by pairing with its companion app (for iOS and Android). After that, you’ll set an alarm that is saved directly to the wearable, and even if you decide to turn your phone off, you’ll still wake up to the alarm.
When it comes to waking up, you have a few options—there’s the “vibration only” mode, which is a silent alarm clock, simply vibrating gently against your wrist to shake you awake. There’s the “vibrate then zap” option, which zaps you after the vibrations alone have proven ineffective for around 60 seconds. Finally, you can select “zap only” for the times when you just need to get up ASAP. After a few zaps, your body will be trained to wake up before your alarm has the chance to shock you. If you need to break your late sleeping habit, this may be the tool for you.
The only way to turn off the alarm on this Laser Alarm Clock is to aim a laser beam at the exact center of the target. It comes with a gun deactivated alarm mode with easy (1 shot) or hard (5 shot) settings. When the alarm goes off, the target rises into position. If you want to make it extra hard, hide the gun!
Gauri Nanda (from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology) invented “Clocky,” an alarm clock that runs away and hides if you don’t get out of bed on time. When the alarm sounds you can snooze once—if you still don’t wake up, Clocky will jump off of the bedside table, and wheel away, mindlessly bumping into objects until he finds a spot to rest. You’ll have to get up and out of bed to silence his alarm. Clocky finds new places every day, kind of like a hide-and-seek game.
Unlike the other items on our list, this alarm clock was designed for napping. The Napper works just like a regular alarm clock with one major difference: quick nap buttons.
If you want to take a nap, just press one of the big buttons on top, and you’re all set. 15 minutes, 30 minutes or 60 minutes, your choice—a timer on the right next to the time tells you how much time you have left. There’s no more need to reprogram your alarm clock or set up your phone, just press the big button and sleep. Pressing the buttons won’t affect the regular alarm setting either, so you can snooze all you want.